Social Media 101 Week: The Pics You Should Stop Posting Today

By - December 2, 2013

Note: Because lately, I’ve had a lot of thoughts about social media,I’m dedicating this coming week on the blog to Social Media 101: Saving Us From Ourselves. 

Part 1: Pics You Should Stop Posting on Social Media Today (Yesterday if Possible…)

                                                                                   

In today’s world, we share pictures even more than cold germs.  After all, when you have a camera at your fingertips all the time (seriously…is your smartphone ever in a place that you have to exert more energy than extending your arm to reach it?), we have both the good luck and misfortune of being able to capture life moment by moment, meal by meal, and one mediocre nature shot at a time.

However, with great power comes great responsibility, and over time, people are becoming less and less responsible.  I speak, of course, of those pictures on social media sites that should never be posted.  You know the ones—they’re the kind that not even the most well-chosen Instagram filter can make safe for the eyes or necessary for visual human consumption.  But in case you don’t know which pictures are social media greenlighted and which are big fat no-go’s (and clearly, some people out there are confused about this, hence the need for this post), I’ve put together this handy reference guide.  I’m proud to present to you the Top Ten Pictures You Should Stop Posting on Social Media Today:

10.) The feet picture

We know you don't mind your own feet, and I'm sure they are very nice.  That said, let’s face it: no one’s feet are so pretty we’re just dying to look at them. Keep in mind that just because your feet happen to be in front of a beach, a pool, or some other “picture-worthy” spot you're looking at at the time, they do not suddenly become interesting or more photogenic. Also, remember that if there is someone out there who is enjoying looking at your feet pictures, it might just be the creepy sort of attention you don't want to encourage. 

9.  The "scenic view"

Speaking of picturesque scenarios, chances are, that gorgeous view you’re looking at isn't going to come across nearly as beautiful in a photo as in real life. The cell phone snapshot of what, to you in person, is the single most breathtaking white, sandy beach covered in a brilliant blue sky?  Yeah.  Nine times out of ten, your facebook friends are wondering why you’re showing them a picture of crappy mediocre beach.

8. Pictures of your text messages with your friends.

Rarely, these can be very funny and fit for sharing with the masses.  But most of the time, unless they contain humor anyone can get and enjoy (ie, not inside jokes), they only serve to cause the friends not involved in the pictured texts to roll their eyes and hide you from their feed.  Sure, your banter with your pal is probably hilarious—to you and your pal. So just keep it to texting and don’t broadcast it wider. You’ll enjoy it more if stays between the people who'll understand it. 

7. The lifeless carcass now residing (in part) in your freezer.

We will all agree to concede (to your face) that the dead animal tied to your car hood is a charming display of your masculinity and proves your penis is at least as large as your ego…if only you’ll post a simple status about your catch instead of a creepy portrait of you grinning as you pose next to a bloody corpse.

 6.  The smiling, identical selfie

 You know this one—it’s that picture you snap of yourself smiling at the camera. The one that could be every other selfie you’ve ever taken.  Same angles, same facial expression, same lack of purpose… While your friends don’t find you unattractive and are happy to see you with a smile on your face, trust me: if they see the same picture on your feed every day that differs only in timestamp, they aren’t thinking about how cute you are anymore.  They’re analyzing what your constant need to post up-close shots of your own face says about your self esteem, and they’re considering getting you a mirror for Christmas so maybe you can save some memory on your phone.

5.  Anything that involves poop

We know you love your kid, and normally, we think he’s pretty endearing, too.  However, we don’t care how cute you think it is that your toddler finger-painted what looks like an elephant sailing a yacht on the wall. If he did it with his own feces and you’ve taken a picture of it at all (much less posted it on facebook), someone needs to take a serious look at their taste in “cute.”

 4. The awesome view from your hotel room window…in the dark.

The skyline might be breathtaking…if we could see it.  How about you try again when there’s a way we might actually be able to make out something in the picture other than vague shapes we assume are buildings and glowing dots we can only deduce are lights?

3. Your kid or your dog…as your profile picture.

Why?  Facebook defines your  profile picture as “the picture that friends see next to your name everywhere on Facebook. This is how people recognize you.”  Unless you and your dog could enter a pet/owner lookalike contest and win hands down, people won’t recognize your dog as you.  And if they do, I wouldn’t exactly brag about it.

2. Your mother****ing latte. 

We get it. You shelled out $4 for a cup of fancy coffee, and you’d like everyone to know that when it comes to your caffeine habit, you don’t dick aound.  Good for you. But now that we’ve seen your cup daily for the past three years, rest assured: we know you take your java jonesing seriously. No need to issue reminders on the regular.

And the number one picture you shoud stop sharing on social media today:

The before and after shot of the twelve-stitch worthy cut you just had sewn up in the ER.  You may be thrilled with your battle wounds, but the guy checking his news feed on his lunch break is not. 

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So, there you have it.  Knowledge is power. So is discretion.  I vote we start using some.

Which pictures are you sick of seeing on your social media feed?  What kinds of photos do you enjoy seeing the most?