Book Addiction: An A to Z Challenge Shenanigan

By - April 2, 2013

As an author, the two questions I get most from readers are, “Where do you get your ideas?” and “How did you start writing?”  The answer to the first one is easy: I buy my ideas from a guy on the corner for a dollar apiece just like all writers do.  The second question comes with an easy answer, too.  Since I can remember, I’ve loved to read, and I wanted to be like all of my favorite authors.  I’ve loved to read since I can remember, and since my parents would allow me to read them (or I got old enough to hide them well), thrillers have been my weakness.  As I got older, I began to realize just how much my book addiction had affected my life when I started looking at houses, and one of my big requirements was that it had an extra room I could use for a library.  Some women want walk-in closets, but I need room to store my collection of books lest my books fill my house the way stoners fill a Jimmy Buffet concert.  And because I'm someone with a book problem that can't be cured, I'd like to present to you all:

The Top Ten Ways to Tell if You or Someone You Love Has a Book Addiction:

10.)  You’ve started to lose interest in going out with friends and family because you just want to stay home and read.  In fact, you’ve mostly forgotten what your brother looks like and wouldn’t be able to pick your cousin out of a line-up.  Thank God for those Christmas newsletters the fam sends out.

9.)  You tell yourself you can stop any time, when in reality, at the end of every chapter, you find yourself saying, “Just one more…”

8.)  You’ve become secretive about your book habit. You sneak off at odd hours to get in just one more chapter or lock yourself in the bathroom for a “long bath” so you can find out whodunit.  It’s not your fault there was a five hour wait at the DMV to renew your license!    

7.)  You’ve started to neglect your appearance.  The hero of your novel thinks you’re beautiful in a ratty t-shirt and pajama pants.  He doesn’t need makeup.  He loves you for who you are!

6.)  Your family has a history of habitual readers.  Maybe a few years back your great grandmother passed away during a freak accident while attempting to overtake a delivery truck carrying the newest, yet-to-be released Harry Potter novel.

5.)  You need to find out what happens next in your book so badly that you’re reading under dangerous conditions, such as while trying to blow-dry your hair, while walking down the street, or while stirring your boiling dinner.

4.)  Your book use is causing problems in your relationships, such as fights with your spouse.  You’re only making use of the $35.99 you paid for that bedside lamp.  If he or she wants complete dark when they sleep, you’ll be more than happy to buy them a night mask…

3.)  You’re neglecting your responsibilities.  Can you help it you caught a cold and needed to miss work the same day the new John Grisham came out?  Pure coincidence.  

2.)  You’ve built up a book tolerance.  As to where you used to be satisfied with only a few pages, you know find yourself wanting more and more in one sitting.  You realize you’re spending hours of your day in “blackout” periods where you completely lose track of time.

1.)  As you get closer to the end of the latest book in a series you’re enjoying, you spend most of your time thinking about when you can get to the bookstore to pick up your next fix.  You might not have the money in checking, but hey, that’s what savings accounts are for!

You would tell them you needed help, but you don’t want to stop and never will.  Maybe you’re out of control.  Maybe it is changing your day to day life.  But stopping is for quitters.  They wouldn’t understand how much you need them.  You need your books, and no one will take that away from you! 

Do you have a book addiction?  How do your friends and family know?  What book is your most recent "fix"?